• Posted November 25, 2024

T-Day Dinner, Post-Election: Experts Offer Tips to Keep Things Calm

Politics, especially the 2024 elections, can quickly turn the family Thanksgiving table into a battleground.

Steering clear of hot-button topics will not only help a big meal go down easier, it has health benefits as well.

Keeping the peace prevents a surge of fight-or-flight hormones that can disrupt sleep and cause headaches, inflammation and even shortness of breath, according to UT Southwestern colleagues Cameron Davis, an assistant professor of psychiatry, and Sarah Woods, vice chair of research in the Department of Family and Community Medicine.

They assure folks that it is possible to stay calm and enjoy yourself this Thanksgiving, even in a house divided.

Here are their do's and dont's for reducing stress this Thanksgiving:

Do communicate respectfully: Avoid personal attacks and keep the conversation focused on facts and objectives. Be assertive, not aggressive. 

Don't feel pressured to engage in emotionally charged talk: Politely state your desire to not take part in political discussions -- or change the topic. Don't push family members' buttons.

Do be prepared: Practice how you will handle it if conversation gets stressful and how you'll behave toward individuals. 

Don't pressure others into a debate or insist they agree with your views: Focus on fostering respectful dialogue. Asking for permission or gauging others' willingness to discuss a topic can help head off tense encounters. In charged conversations, remember: The goal is not to "win" but to foster understanding and maintain respect.

Do listen actively: If you choose to discuss a political topic, be attentive. Focus on truly understanding the other person's perspective and respond thoughtfully in a way that reflects your values and understanding. Active listening is a sign of openness and paves the way for more positive, meaningful exchanges. 

Don't lose sight of your values: The temptation to think in "all-or-nothing terms" can be strong. If family relationships matter to you, focus on keeping your connections with loved ones, not on politics.

Do have a plan: Know how you will respond to uneasy discussions and make sure you and your spouse are on the same page ahead of time. Consider having a strategy -- even a signal like a touch on the shoulder or wink -- to let your partner know you need his or her help or want to leave. Identify folks you can be open with during the holidays and beyond -- to provide yourself a buffer. 

Finally, think about the long-term consequences, Davis and Woods advise.

"Families are for longer than today -- even if we're estranged," they pointed out in a UT Southwestern news release. "Ask yourself: Is this a conversation I want to lose this relationship over? … Which hills am I willing to let relationships die on?"

Then, enjoy your holiday.

More information

For more stress-free Thanksgiving tips, visit UK HealthCare.

SOURCE: UT Southwestern Medical Center, news release, Nov. 21, 2024